Although they are different individuals, shy people sort of look alike: unhandiness, looking into the ground, silly walk, the way they sit down on the edge of a chair, to low or too loud voice, tensed quietness, mimicry, gestures.

It can be said that shy people could be recognized after examining body language.

•  the back always bent underneath the heaviness of the world;
• the hands with which they never know what to do;
• the defensive handshake;
• fragmented conversation;
• quietness;
  
  

When the timid person is quiet: he is a fine listener; some times he expresses his tension and aggressiveness through silence (it’s the most common blockage among shy individuals); he can become ironic and offensive; meditative, philosophical; sudden; etc.

To get to know a timid person you have to figure him out in his moments of silence. He’s being quiet because he is lonely and because he’s afraid.

The fear towards people and society is… assumed, built by him, thus it’s imaginary. He doesn’t understand society because he hasn’t developed his “herd instinct” (with positive meaning here). Being an introvert, the experiences from within a group of individuals were unfavorable to him from the beginning.

The image that shy people form in their mind, about the “social”… is fake. Either they overrate it (the timid individual is thinking that he would never ever be like them, they are his idols, he is too small), fact which leads to inferiority complex; either they underestimate it, fact leading to personal superiority complex.

1. Overrated society.

At first he will feel naked, exposed in front of the social. He cannot get along with the others. He doesn’t know how… He gets scared because he thinks that he will not be properly appreciated or understood, or that HE will not be able to understand the others around him, that they will probably not be able to communicate.

“The others are so different!“, he thinks…”they’re like strangers“. What could he have in common with them? “They” know how to smile, how to look a person in the eyes, how to maintain a conversation, everything they do is happening in such a “cool” way (spontaneously, naturally).

The lack of self confidence (which is key ingredient in today’s world survival) together with failure experience add up to send the shy person into believing he actually IS a failure: “I will never become as natural as they are. I stutter, and my face turns red all the time. I will never make it.“

2. Underestimated society.

If first case (overrating society) concludes with the individual experiencing a blockage this case leads to a confinement into a forced socialization. He searches for balance between individual and social but cannot find it.

He fails and ends up oscillating between isolating (living an imaginary life) and throwing himself into the vortex of society through faking, going for heroics or being aggressive.

Fear of risking, of the unknown is of such proportions at a shy person, that he decides to basically think his life rather than actually living it. Mental living his life is the strategy that he will adopt to defend himself.

He is a warrior that every morning wakes up to put his armor only to take it off when he will be ready to go back to bed.

The too much affectivity from within, overflows, but hits the margins of the world bouncing back into the timid person’s inner self.

Too sensitive for this world he will try to live in a different world. One of his own, always dreaming of the real world.

What’s going to happen next then? Will shy people be considered failures?

NO

Should we marginalize shy people?

No way, my friend! See… this is just what characterizes this world: herd instinct (with negative meaning here). It’s up to you, my friend to try and change this way of thinking.

Tell them: